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Apr. 22nd, 2008

This Must Be The Band

This Must Be The Band is the Talking Heads cover band Sean & I went to see Thursday the 17th. It was a pretty good show, though some of the songs were a little too jam band for our liking. There were a lot of hippies dancing so that's probably why. $4 for a beer is a little out of my price range, so thankfully Sean bought mine & dinner. I just had to pay for my El train tickets & the cover charge of $8. Here's a picture Sean took on his cell. The lights weren't that great for photo taking so this is the best that could be done:





We got home about 2am, dead tired. But we still slept together. Fell asleep sometime around 3/3:30am. Totally missed the earthquake that shook Chicago. Woke up about 6:30 and gave him special attention to wake him up. After that we showered & I had to nag him to take a picture with me. After 10 minutes he finally gave in, but still wasn't happy about it. Hence the shit eating grin (he was being an asshole). We hurried & took the picture so he wouldn't be late for work. So, remember it's not that great of a picture due to hangovers, little sleep, sex, & a shower.


Apr. 10th, 2008

Update

So...

I didn't get the job at Family Video (which considering some people call me the female Tarantino as I can talk for 5 hours to a blank wall about movies & even know who produced Casablanca (Hal B. Wallis if it ever comes up)).

Next week, Thursday the 17th, I'll be in Chicago seeing This Must Be The Band (a Talking Heads cover band) with Sean M. & will be staying the night. Which is good if he's paying for the drinks because I can't afford one & I need it.

Monday though, the 14th, is the date I should be moving into the house. This is if the paperwork is finished. Should be around then either way. Once I get in there, I'll start looking for a job again. This is ridiculous. It's been 3 years since I've had a job. Gotten a few interviews & they never call back. If/when I inquire (depending where, sometimes I'm happy I won't have to work at such places) they tell me that they already hired someone else. The hell? I had to walk 10 minutes in the cold rain to find out that I didn't get the job, then go "home?" My interview with them was 10 days ago as well. I could have been more out there if I knew I wasn't going to get a job I was perfect for. Makes me think I'll never get a job.

Mar. 27th, 2008

More memes from Mae!

1.

Has anyone ever told you have pretty eyes?
Yepper doodles



2.

What kind of computer do have?
HP Pavillion Laptop

3.

What have you learned recently?
Monday I might have a group interview if my assesment test went okay, I might finally meet Sean's friend Brett April 17th at the Talking Heads cover band show - but not likely, Sean is okay with the fact we'll be taking pictures at that show together (keep an eye out for those after said date!)

4.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
Um, 2. I think.

5.

Do you like to smile?
Not with teeth. Hate mine.

6.

How tall are you?
5'2" ish

7.

What are you majoring in?
Not in college



8.

What Time Do You Usually Wake Up On the Weekends?
Depends on when I fall asleep.

9.

Do you like peanut butter?
Not really.



10.

What is/was your favorite class in high school?
Social Sciences (history, psych., soc.) & Theatre Arts.



11.

How much did you weigh when you were born?
No idea. Around 6 lbs.?


12.

What brand of body lotion do you use?
Whatever is there that smells good... unless it's for my tattoos. Then I used Udderly Smooth.



13.

Is Juan the shit?
Who?

14.

If you could live in any other country, which one would you pick?
Most likely an English speaking one. I'll visit somewhere that doesn't speak it but not likely to live there. Well, maybe Japan is Sean wants to move back there.



15.

Where were you when you heard about the World Trade Towers?
I think it was my honors history class

16.

Are camera phones worth it?
Sometimes, I guess. I don't know.

17.

Are there too many commercials on tv?
Need to pay their bills somehow. Enjoy the break to cook, or make a call or go to the bathroom or something.


18.

How many times have you moved?
Since birth? 5 & 1/2. In the process of moving now



19.

What color is your vehichle?
Don't drive!

20.

What would you look for in choosing a roommate?
Being my husband lol.

21.

Do you ever keep arguing even when you know you’re wrong?
Definitely. I was on the Speech team in H.S.

22.

What are the 5 top PHYSICAL traits you look for in a male/female?
I don't look for anything. There are different traits I like in each individual.

23.

Do long distance relationships work?
My best friends worked out. Kind of, sort of in one now. It all depends on how much the 2 people are willing to work at it.


24.

Scuba-diving or Sky-diving?
Sky diving.

25.

Is there anyone you'd die for?
Yes.



26.

Spell your name without an E,R,S,H,K,I,M,A,:
my first name: N
my whole name: NDON

27.

What are you listening to?
I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend - The Ramones (on a mix Sean gave me on our 2nd date)

28.

Is any part of your body sore?
Yep

29.

Are you happy with your life right now?
Somewhat. There are some things needing improvement.

30.

Are you missing anyone?
Yes.



31.

How do you earn money?
My mom gives me money when she can.


32.

Are you outgoing?
At times.

33.

Where do you wish you were right now?
Chicago with Sean... or at a job... or moving into the new house



34.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?
I'm trying not to. We're moving too fast but I wouldn't say drifting away.



35.

When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
I don't/

36.

Stay home or run away?
I have never ran away. Little old to now.

37.

Least favorite color?
Depends on what the color is on.

38.

Terminator or the Punisher?
Hate both movies.

39.

Who was the last person you talked to online?
Steven wished me luck via AIM

40.

Last words you spoke?
"They're going to call me sometime today."

41.

Did you date someone you regret dating?
No.



42.

What is your natural hair color?
Uh, some shade of brown

43.

When's the next concert you're going to?
Talking Heads cover band at some bar in Chicago with Sean (first one too!)



44.

Can you play guitar hero?
I haven't played a video game since Pong, Duck Hunt & Paper Boy.

45.

Do you like someone?
Yes.



46.

Clowns: funny, scary or crying on the inside?
Depends on the clown.

47.

Every cloud: silver lined or full of rain for your parade?
...is fluffy?

48.

Easter: chocolate bunnies or peeps?
Damn Christians & damn candy companies.



49.

Independence Day: barbecue, fireworks or aliens?
All above (but no Will Smith movies please)

50.

Coach Purse or NFL game tickets?
Purses last longer.

51.

Do fish have feelings?
Yes.

52.

What do you currently smell like?
I don't know... coffee, cigarettes & perfume?

53.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
I don't know if I will.



54.

Would you rather watch football or baseball?
Neither.

55.

What's the strangest fact about you?
Uh.... who can choose? Honestly now..

56.

Where is your number one person on your friends list?
my myspace friend list? Probably working or sleeping.

57.

Do you feel like dancing?
No.


58.

Champagne, wine or beer?
Choice 1) Wine; Choice 2) beer

59.

Do you sleep naked?
At Sean's ;)

60.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
No.

61.

Do you burn easily in the sun?
Not that easily no.

62.

Do you speak another language other than English?
A few words in Spanish, German & Italian.

63.

What made you happy today?
Getting my test over with. (Ah! *fingers crossed*)

64.

What is your ringtone?
Alfred Hitchcock Presents theme

65.

Who was the last person you ate lunch with?
Uh, Jessica I guess.

66.

What’s the most important thing you've discovered about yourself lately?
Nothing lately.



67.

Where did your last hug take place?
Jessica's kitchen

68.

Did you cry today?
Nope

***

1.

Would you kill your neighbor?

Don't have any.


2.

Whats one word that describes your last relationship?

Over



3.

What were you doing ten minutes ago?

Those questions.

4.

What's the last movie you saw?

Freaks



5.

What did your last text message say?

I don't get them. Can't afford them.

6.

Whats your middle name?

Marie



7.

Who have you talked to most today?

Nessa, the woman who administered my test.



8.

Do you carve pumpkins every year?

No, I miss it.

10.

Color of your shirt?

White tank, black hoodie.



11. I'm always...

with me?



12.

Who's on speed dial 2?

Don't use it.



13.

Honestly, how many boys/ girls have you been in love with?

Had poor luck trying not to fall for 2.



14.

Whats your favorite season?

Which ones are warm again?



15.

How are you feeling right now?

Nervosus.



16.

What did you do this weekend?

This weekend is in 2 days.



17.

How many times have you moved?

Answered.



18.

What is the last thing you touched?

Mouse & Keys on the keyboard.



19.

Would you do anything for someone else?

Who is this person?



20.

Have you ever been called a punk?

Yep :)

21.

Was yesterday better than today?

Kinda.



22.

What is your ring tone?

Answered.



23.

Do you have a favorite number?

No. Well, 26 looks promising (hehe)



24.

Are your grades good?

Don't get grades.


25.

Do you hate anyone/ anything?

Sure.



26.

Does your best friend have a myspace?

Yep.



27.

If you could meet anyone who would it be?

Loads of people.



28.

Last time you went out to lunch?

The 20th I went to brunch with my mom... does that count?



29.

Do you have any music you're ashamed of?

No. It's only a guilty pleasure if you're guilty. I will admit.


30.

Do you like anyone?

Yep.


31.

How old will you be in 8 months?

22



32.

Do you think you'll be married by then?

Ha! Not even sure I'll have a boyfriend

33.

Do you have one or more Britney Spears cds?

No



34.

What did you do last night?

Watched TVs & movies.



35.

Are you a Lost fanatic?

I don't watch it.


36.

Say you were given a drug test right now! Would you pass or fail?

Pass. Traces of cigarette only.



37.

Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?

Definitely. Including his hit with Lita Ford.


38.

What is the most embarrassing thing you've done in a shower?

Got soap in Sean's eye... dropped shampoo on my foot... slipped onto the wall shaving my legs



39.

What is under your bed currently?

I currently do not have one.

43.

What's the last thing someone bought you?

Brunch & cigarettes.


44.

Do you ever sing in the shower?

Yeah.



45.

What's your favorite movie?

Don't ask me to choose!



46.

Why is your relationship status the way it is?

We like each other, but we can't be bf/gf yet & it's moving too fast anyway. It's hard to explain.



47.

Do people ever spell your name wrong?

Of course.


48.

Do you believe everyone has a soul mate?

Not so much.



49.

Can you sing?

I try... sometimes. Soemtimes it's fun to sing as piss poor as you can on purpose.



50.

When was the last time you cried?

When I got that email from Sean about us moving to fast.



51.

Do you want any piercings?

Good with what I got.



52.

How about tattoos?

Yes! I want to finish my piece & move on!



53.

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?

About some things. Trying to be better with organization.


54.

Have you ever been to South America or Africa?

Nope


56.

Do you have a job?

No... hopefully soon though


57.

Is there anything currently bothering you?

Yeah



58.

What are you doing right now besides this survey?

Having coffee.



59.

Do you know how to play poker?

No.



60.

Baskin Robbins or Coldstone?

Both are good, but not often.

61.

Physics or chemistry?

Neither



62.

Facebook or Myspace?

Have both. Talk to Sean on FB & my ex Sean on myspace. Depends on who I need to talk to.



63.

Do you wear any jewelry?

Always some kind of necklace, maybe more.



64.

What is the color of your bedroom walls?

i don't have one. Will be painting the new one. Not sure what though. Maybe a light green or Tuscan yellow or a crackle paint to look like marble if I can... Hmmm....



65.

When do you prefer to take a shower, morning or night?

Night. My legs don't work before noon.



66.

Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Star Wars?

Star Wars changed the film industry, but I didn't like it. LOTR had pretty aerial shts but too long. HP got kids reading again & had Gary Oldman, but I got sick of it.


67.

Fly or road trip?

Depends on who I'm with, how long of a trip (since I can't drive they'll have to & I wantto be there longer that the time it takes to get there), & where it is.



68.

Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Tanner Vineyard, or Shalayna Hatcher?

Don't know the last two, but I have a thing for Batman... so yeah...


69.

What's your favorite Disney movie?

Alice in Wonderland... duh! Have you not seen my tatts?



70.

What are your plans for tonight?

Getting my results, nappy time.

***

1.

Where were you THREE hours ago?
Getting ready for my assesment test.


2.

What do you think of your LAST kiss?
Too long ago & a good bye kiss. :(


3.

Are you wearing SOCKS right now?
Yeah.

4.

When was the last time you went out of STATE?
I don't know.



5.

Have you been to the M0VIES in the last 5 days?
No, can't afford. I'll wait for the DVD



6.

What did you see?
See above.

7.

What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee


8.

What are you wearing right now?
Jeans, tank, hoodie



9.

What was your last purchase?
I don't know... movie rentals count?



10.

Last food you ate?
Ice cream last night.



11.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Sean!

12.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
No.



13.

Do you have a pet?
Nope. Not until I can afford it, then I get to talk to my mom's fiance



14.

What did you do last night?
Slept, talked to Sean, watched Freaks, then slept again



15.

If you could be anywhere you want where would it be?
Chicago with Sean

16.

What is the last thing you purchased online?
I don't.



17.

One thing you hate about yourself?
Procrastinate, uninspired

18.

What’s your favorite soup?
Miso. I don't really eat soup, but once in a while I hae that at a Japanese restaurant.



19.

Do you miss anyone?
Yes.



20.

Last movie you saw?
Freaks. Where have you been?

21.

What are your plans for the day?
Sleep, get my results, eat. About it



22.

Did you have fun today?
No, too stressed.



23.

Who is your last text message from?
I don't get or send them!

24.

Were you an honor roll student in school?
Yes.



25.

What do you know about the future?
There will be one? I'm going to a b-day party April 5th; moving around April 14th; going out with Sean April 17th; June 14th Jess, Chris, Sean & I are going to Killer Margarita's for Chris' 21st; Sept 20th my mom is getting married (and yes, Sean will be my date unless he has to fly to Philly for work)



26.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Jessica & Chris.

27.

Do you have a tan?
I went tanning last week. Only time since summer. Can't afford to go back.



28.

How old do you want to be when you have kids?
Answered this. Do-be-doobie-doo!



29.

Did you meet anyone new today?
Not really. Met Nessa once before.



30.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
More than 1 of each.


31.

How do you like your soda?
Not flat, preferably with a straw


32.

Do you like hot sauces?
No.



33.

What are you doing tomorrow?
I don't know.



34.

What day is tomorrow?
Friday.



35.

What is your current mood?
Nervous.



36.

Why?
Still haven't gotten a call about the test I took.


37.

Do you remember the first person you ever kissed?
Yes.



38.

Do you have a crush on anyone right now?
More than a crush, we date


39.

If you could be on a TV show, which one would it be?
Not sure. Don't watch too many that are still on the air. Newlywed Game is awesome.



40.

Why?
See above.

41.

Have you ever watched a movie and just “had” to do what they did?
When I was little.



42.

Do you have a “face” you make in the mirror?
The one I put on when I apply makeup.

43.

Ever use someone else’s toothbrush?
Nope. Sean said if I ever forget mine I can use his though. Not hoping for it, but nice to know.



44.

Do you like/love the person you got this survey from?
Mae rocks. I love her. She's also my only LJ friend.


45.

Can you whistle?
Barely & that's thanks to The Andy Griffith Show.



46.

Can you wiggle your ears?
No.



47.

You have a song that comes on that you just “have” to turn up and sing to?
The ones I own

48.

Who are you thinking about right now?
Sean reciting the lyrics to Bloodhoud Gang's "Bad Touch" & my ex Sean singing "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"... funny stuff

***

1. What should we call you?
Renee. I have no nicknames.

3. Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
Yep

4. Suppose you see your boy/girl friend kissing another person, what would
you do?
We're not bf/gf & I know he goes out on dates with other girls, but he wouldn't when I'm visiting him so it's not a problem.

5. Yay, you got a free holiday, South America or North Korea?
A continent & a country... How about Asia for another continent. And then I choose that for Japan & China.

6. Does a kiss make you feel better when you're angry?
Never been kissed when angry.

7. Right now do you prefer a Strawberry Milkshake or a Banana Cupcake?
Neither.

8. Is your phone within a meter radius of you?
How far is a meter again? I can see my phone... need to have it somewhat close for the call.

9. Wait, are you a guy or a chick?
Not fuzzy & yellow & go 'peep'. Lady, woman, & possibly girl are acceptible.

10. What are you wearing?
jeans, tank, hoodie.

11. What color is the thing you are sitting on right now?
The couch is multi-colored. My ass is white though & the jeans are blue. (I couldn't resist, sorry)

13. What is bothering you right now?
A few things.

14. Who do you think you're going to spend Valentine's Day with?
Probably no one. It's almost a year away. But it's a Saturday so maybe Sean.

15. Was last New Year's enjoyable?
I napped. It was good.

16. I'll betcha you miss someone right now.
Yes, but not a question.

17. And they would be where?
Work. Chicago.

18. Can you type over 50 words per minute?
Probably now.

19. Are you high?
No.

20. McDonalds or Burger King?
Neither preferably. Only eat there if I have to

21. Krispy Kreme, Donut King or Wendy's?
Donut King? Don't have that.

22. Target, Wal-Mart or K-Mart?
I don't trust places ending in "-Mart"

24. If there was a large spider in the room, would you stay?
How big? Regularly, I'm the one who has to squash it as my friend runs out of the room

25. What time is it?
3 ish

26. Would you ever become a vegetarian or even vegan?
Yep. Not for long though. By the by, veganism is a form of vegetarian.

27. Where are you right now?
Living room of my best friends

28. What is your desktop picture?
Testuo: The Iron Man wallpaper.

30. Do you shop for clothes?
If I have to.

31. Where do you think your ex is right now?
Somewhere in southern Illinois trying to save money to come back to Chicago

32. And what are they doing?
See above

33. Do you believe in ghosts?
No.

34. Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?
Tokyo. Sean lived in Japan, knows the language, & that's the home of Sanrio

35. How about Melbourne or Rome?
Both rock.

36. Do you have a guitar in your house?
No.

37. Are you listening to music right now?
Yes.

38. Who else is in the room with you?
Chris & Jessica

39. In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?
How cold is it?

40. Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Yes.

41. How often do you get onto myspace/facebook?
When bored. FB more often to see pictures of Sean. I need to get some of my own.

42. How long can you go without your mobile phone?
Until the weekend. That's when Sean & I talk since it's free.

43. Do you have any enemies?
No.

44. What are you doing?
This.

45. Is your bed made of metal or wood?
Metal

46. How much cash is in your wallet?
None.

47. Ever kissed a blonde haired or brown haired person?
Ex Sean has brown hair. Sean is bald. More blonde/light brown mix facial stubble so I'll go with that.

48. Who last called you babe/baby?
Probably Jessica. Sean doesn't call me anything but Renee.

49. What last made you sad?
That damned email.

50. Would you be able to date someone who had a kid with someone else?
Yeah. So long as it wasn't conceived when I was dating him.

51. Is the person you last kissed younger than you?
No.

52. Do you know anyone called Lucy?
Does Lucille Ball count? Everyone knows & loves Lucy.

53. Spoon or fork?
What am I eating?

54. Where did you last sleep other than your house?
Jessica's couch. It's my bed for the next approximately 18 days.

56. Did you have fun on this survey?
No.

57. What are you doing tomorrow?
Dunno.

58. What do you wish for?
Wishes don't work. If they did, I couldn't say or it wouldn't come true. (Dreams are the same, or so the sayings go.)
Tags:

Mar. 26th, 2008

Update

Today I have an interview! It's for Family Video. It's an independently owned movie rental business. I really hope I get the job. It's been since August of 04 since I held a job. Damn economy. If I do get the job, I'm going to be saving up for beauty school & my own place in the city.

Well, Sean M. & I are working things out. Thank goodness. We had a long talk on the phone & decided to take a step back for a while. We still care about each other immensely and don't want to loose each other. In due time, I really think this could work out & he may just be the one. He actually insinuated us being together for 3 years, 10 years & a lifetime just in that one conversation. April 17th will be our next date. We're going to see a Taking Heads cover band at some bar in the city & I'll be spending the night. Hopefully, one day in the not that far off future, I can start looking for a job & apartment in the city. Then, we'll finally be boyfriend/girlfriend. He doesn't want to commit to a long distance relationship. I guess I can understand. I'm just happy that he's not completely pushing me away since I'm in the process of moving even further away from the city. June, he's meeting my best friend & her boyfriend for his 21st birthday. So that's exciting. September, he'll be meeting my family for my mom's wedding. He says he's not a knight in shining armor. But, he is to me. He helps me escape my hum-drum life, & he makes me feel wanted & needed. I won't say it to him, but I could definitely see myself falling for him, loving him. It's incredibly scary given our situation, but I'm just going to kick back & enjoy every second we're together.

Mar. 10th, 2008

Surveys taken from Mariel

50 ODD Things about you! If you opened this, FILL IT OUT! Learn 50 things about your friends, and let them learn 50 things about you!

1. Do you like bleu cheese?
No, the older I get the more lactose-intolerant I get.

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
Nope.

3. Do you own a gun?
Nope.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
Never been.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Never.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I'll pass.

7. Favorite Christmas song?
I'm agnostic. Not big on Christmas. Though I will listen to Neil Diamond or the Stray Cats.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee.

9. Can you do push ups?
Nope.

10. Can you do a chin up?
Never could

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My Hello Kitty items.

12. Favorite hobby?
At this moment, it's wallowing. Though reading & films come in 2nd.

13. Ever been in a car wreck?
Small accidents, not wrecks.

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
No.

15. What's one trait that you hate about yourself?
Currently uninspired.

16. Middle name?
Marie.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
I could go for a smoke.
I could go for a cup of coffee.
Blake Schwarzenbach is a genius.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
With what money? That's part of why he said we need a break.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Coffee.

20. Current worry?
Doomed to be crazy lonely old maid who can't even get the love of a cat.

21. Current hate right now?
People. Especially those with whom I've been in relationships with that the time I was w/ them is divisible by 3. (3 weeks, 3 months, 6 months... all to the day.)

22. Favorite place to be?
Chicago with someone.

23. How did you bring in the New Year?
Sleeping.

24. Where would you like to go?
See question #22

25. Name three people who will complete this?
No one left to.

26. Do you own slippers?
Yes, Ugg ones I never wear.

27. What shirt are you wearing?
Ramones tee I got from Sean :(

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
No.

29. Can you whistle?
The Andy Griffith Show theme.

30. Favorite color?
Red & Black.

31. Would you be a pirate?
Women weren't allowed on the ships back then.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever CD I'm playing... usually 70s punk or the Pretenders.

33. Favorite girl's name?
I don't know. Depends on the last name.

34. Favorite boy's name?
See above.

35. What's in your pocket?
Lint?

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
I forget. Been a while.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Strawberry Shortcake.

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
No idea. Maybe a body mod?

39. Do you love where you live?
I'm inbetween homes now, staying on friends couch.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Currently, none... no house

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Drunk or sober?

42. How many dogs do you have?
No pets.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Ha!

45. What is your favorite book?
Umm.... Maybe Harold & the Purple Crayon. It's a small book, but a lot of meaning.

46. What is your favorite candy?
Don't eat it

47. Favorite Sports Team?
Not a sports person. Can say though I hate being on the train with Cubs fans.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
There's a list in the works. "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", "Bat Out of Hell", and something by Jawbreaker or Jets to Brazil (both Blake Schwarzenbach bands) are at the top of the list.

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Sleeping in depression.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
"Oh, hell."

***

1. Have you ever taken a shower with another person?
Yes.

2. Who ended your last relationship?
Him.

3. When was the last time you got in trouble with the police?
Never.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Answering these questions.

5. Are you any good at math?
Nope.

6. What was going on in your life, one year ago today?
Emailing my ex & hoping he'd visit from STL.... still working on that.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
I guess one of them was a friend of Washington & housed him while the White House was being built & gave Washington the inspiration for the Oval Office. I also have a cousin that played pro hockey.

9. Have you ever broke your phone?
No.

10. Where is your mom?
At her fiance's fathers house.

11. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Nope.

12. What's one thing you wish to change about yourself?
Apparently I fall to quickly for men I date.

13. Are you spoiled?
Not at all.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Never been.

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
Need wisdom teeth removed, they're impacted. Til then, root canal.

16. What is outside your back door?
Don't have one, yet.

17. Do you have any plans for Friday?
I did, but that was pushed back 2x & then cancelled. I'm free pretty much the rest of my life.

18. How many brothers/sisters do you have?
Only child.

19. Do you have a secret crush?
Nope. Just men I'll never get over. (There's always a little part that never gets over that first love.)

21. Do you dislike anyone right now?
Yes. But yet there's love too for this person.

22. Something you are excited about?
I can continue to wallow. Might be inspiring & make me feel stronger in the end.

23. What is your favorite flavor of Jello?
Green (party) - Jello Biafra of the Dead Kenndys! lol

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
No, nor my grandparents.

25. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?
High school.

27. What is a movie character that reminds you of yourself?
Rob Gordon of High Fidelity, currently.

28. Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?
Never tried, don't want to.

29. What do you wanna do with your life?
Happy, married, kids, covered in tattoos, doing hair & makeup or making films... maybe a stay at home mom if financially possible.

30. Do you go to church?
I don't really believe in god, so why would I?

31. Do you like it?
Do I like church? No. Just this side of atheist & that I'm happy about.

32. Who was your first best friend?
Leigha or Jessica.

33. What is your least favorite class?
Anything math related.

34. Have you ever snuck out of your house?
No.

35. Why?
Never was need to.

36. What was the last compliment you received?
I can't remember.

37.Do you think its true?
I have a hard time believing any. If it's about my tattoos, it's more of a compliment to the artist.

38. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
Both. Glsses more though. More used to it & need to get more contacts which I can't afford.

39. What's the last movie you watched?
Uhh... I believe Tod Browning's "Freaks" (1939)

40. Do you know all the words to it?
No. Not even the captioner got all. In a scene with yelling, no one could tell if it was German or English it was so fast & soft.

41. Are you on any medications?
No.

42. What's your favorite thing to do?
I don't know anymore.

43. Do you regret dating someone?
No.

44. Who?
n/a

45. When did you stop believing in Santa Clause?
I was told the truth at 3.

46. What annoys you?
There's a laundry list there.

47. Whats the next vacation you're going on?
For there to be a next there'd have to be a first.

48. Do you have anything bad on your phone?
Music not all would like I guess.

49. Who do you sit with on the bus?
I haven't been on a bus where I know anyone in ages.

50. Does your myspace song have any significance?
Yes. It's from the movie "Kontroll" which has a lot of significance to me.

***

Current...

Current Mood : eh... I pass.

Current Music : Blake Schwarzenbach's bands

Current Hair : Black with brown roots starting to come in. Short, but getting too long for my liking.

Current Clothes : Ramones tee I got from Sean, Jeans, Halloween socks.

Current Annoyance : emotions.

Current Smell : Coffee.

Current Thing I should be Doing : Drinking coffee & smoking.

Current CD in Stereo : Stereo is packed away.

Do You have a reocurring dream : Every once in a while I dream I am a crime scene cleaner. Always the same.

Do You remember your first love : Yes. It was only 2 1/2 years ago & we still email each other.

Do You like the taste of alcohol : Depends on the alcohol.

Do You have a best friend : Yes.

Do You believe in Love at First Site : I believe in lust at first sight, love at first meet.

Are you shy to make the first move : Definitely. Always have, always will.

Last thing bought : Coffee?

Last thing you ate : Haven't eaten in a day or 2.

Last movie watched : I think Tod Browning's "Freaks" (1939)

Beer or Cider : Beer if it's Miller or Corona.

Drinks or Shots : I'm a Captain & Coke kind of girl, when at a bar. Home, it's Baileys.

Cat or Dog : Either or.

Single or Taken : I don't know....

Pen or Pencil : Depends on the use.

Gloves or Mittens : Gloves.

Coke or Pepsi : Either.

Who do you want to kill : Maim, not kill.

Who do you want to get wasted with : Not big on drinking that much.

Who do you want to look like : Me.

Who do you want to avoid : People. Just people in general right now.

Last Person you saw : Best friends boyfriend is sleeping on the floor.

Last Person you spoke with on the phone : My mom

Last person you Hugged : Jessica, so I wouldn't cry.

Last Person you IMed : Mel, a few days ago.

Last Person you Kissed : Sean M. :(

What is your bedroom like : Currently don't have one.

What is your favorite meal : I don't know.

What is your favorite restaurant : I don't know.

What is on your bedside table : Don't have one currently.

What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night : Depends what's in there.

What is your bed like : When I did have one... Black & lime sheets, 2 afgans my grandma made me, 4 pillows.

Spontaneous or Planned : Depends on what situation.

What do you carry with you at all times : When out: ID, money if have & needed, cigarettes & lighter, phone.

How do you drive : I don't.

Have you ever been in a play : The 2 I was technically in (got the lead in one, supporting in the other) I had to drop out for medically reasons or bad grades.

Are you annoyed by homeless people : Almost was/am one.

***

1. Who has your heart lately & how are they treating it?
Myself. I break it every day. (So does Sean).

2. When was the last time you went out?
A few days ago. Kids at Hot Topic I walked by made me want to gut myself & made me feel old.

3. What would you do if you found out your ex was engaged?
Be upset, but happy for him. Still would like to be his friend. He's an amazing & interesting man.

4. The last person you fought with?
I don't know.

5. Miss someone?
Always.

6. What made you smile today?
Nothing.

7. Are you scared to fall in love?
I fall to easy, I'm scared of the consequences.

8. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Chicago... or where ever my love is.

9. What was your dream last night?
Don't remember

10. What were you doing this morning at 1a.m.?
Sleeping.

11. What were you doing this morning at 4 a.m.?
Waking up.

12. Name a place you want to visit?
Chicago, Europe, Asia.

13. Last phone call?
My mom.

14. Are you a type of person that can be trusted?
Yes.

15. Last words you spoke?
"I'll put the paper back on the table once I figure out what this Humboldt Park movie is about. Went there for the Puerto Rican Day festival with my first boyfriend Sean."

16. Do you ever lie about your age?
No.

17. What do you want to be when you're 30?
Alive & happy. Preferally not single.

18.How many things in the past do you regret?
I really don't regret. Hate the mistakes, but too late now.

19. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone?
Depends on the size of the bed honestly. Been knocked off the bed too many times (futon that was in the couch position)

20. What is the last movie you watched?
Tod Browning's "Freaks" (1939) I think

21. Do you like your life?
Not so much at the moment.

22. Has anyone ever cheated on you?
Not to my knowledge.

23. What is your biggest fear?
My emotions wrecking me.

24. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
Definitely.

25. What do you really want right now?
There's a laundry list for ya.

26. What are you looking forward to at this point in time?
Nothing

27. Whats your favorite food?
I don't have one.

28. What are you listening to right now?
Still, Jawbreaker.

29. What's your pet peeve?
Laundry list of items.

30. When was the last time you got yelled at?
I don't know.

31. Who do you text a lot?
I can't afford it.

32. Who was the last person to call you?
My mom.

33. How was your day?
I'm going to be nice & not say just sneer.

34. Do you want to have kids?
Not anytime soon.

35. If you could describe your life in three words what would they be?
I don't know.

36. Who do you really want to see right now, that you haven't seen in a while?
Sean. Pick either one.

37. Whats your favorite state?
Illinois. I love Chicago.

38. Who can you tell everything to?
A few people. They know who they are.

39. When was the last time you were extremely pissed off?
Last night.

40. Do you like to cuddle?
Sometimes.

41. Have you ever cried over what someone has said to you?
Last night in fact... though it was emailed.

42. How often do you go to church?
I don't go.

43. Was your last kiss a mistake?
No.

44. What is your latest lie?
That I was going out for just a walk. I actually smoked too.

45. When was the last time you cried, really, really, hard?
Last night.

46. Who has saved you the most?
Don't think I have been.

47. When was the last time you had butterflies?
When Sean & I started going out in September.

48. Do you need to get something off your chest?
Kinda. Sean & I need a nice long talk.

49. Have you ever been IN love?
Not sure.

***

1. What is a difference between the last two people you kissed?
Not much I can tell you that.

2. Do you believe that there is always room in your heart for your first love?
Yes, I still have feelings for Sean P.

3. Where is the next place you will travel to?
Down the block for a smoke maybe?

4. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Goodbye kiss Maybe a final goodbye.

5. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's underwear?
No.

6. Have you cried today at all?
Yep.

7. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Watched Newlywed Game.

8. When was the last time you cried?
This morning.

9. Do you say sexy a lot?
No.

10. When was the last time you were at a sleepover?
With a man, February. Basically having one every day with my best friend now, since I'm living with her for another month.

11. Do you have any gay friends?
No.

12. What is something you currently want?
Answers.

13. When did you last throw up?
I don't know

14. Do you want to get married & have children one day?
Yes.

15. Do you still think about your exes?
Definitely.

16. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
18 years old.

17. If you could, would you date a jock?
Depends. Can't be dumber than a rock, arrogant, ect. etc.

18. Ever made out in a pool?
No.

20. Have you ever gambled in a casino?
No.

21. Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
Short, except when the cold wind blows.

22. What is your favorite place you have traveled?
Chicago.

23. Do you like ice cream?
No.

24. What is your favorite color?
Red & black

25. What was the last thing you bought?
Coffee?

26. Where do you keep your money?
What money?

27. What was the weather like today?
Cold, flurries

28. Where are your mom and dad?
Don't know where mom is, never met dad.

29. What did you want for Christmas?
I'm agnostic, I don't do that.

30. Last vacation destination you went to?
Never been.

31. Do you want to cut your hair?
Yes, it's getting too long for short hair.

32. Do you like to eat ice?
Not really. Only do it at restaurants when bored.

34. When do you go to sleep?
Whenever I drift off.

35. Who was the last person of the opposite sex that you talked to?
Chris, Jessica's boyfriend.

36. Would you ever consider moving to another state to be with the one you love?
Yes, if I could.

37. Do you like sushi?
No big on fish, but some sushi I'll eat.

39. Do you have empty bottles of alcohol hidden somewhere?
No.

40. Are you over the age of 25?
No.

41. Are you typically a jealous person?
I try not to be.

42. Own bright colored underwear?
Yep, Hello Kitty ones too.

43. Who is the last person to text you?
I don't text. Too expensive.

44. What was the best movie you have seen in the past two weeks?
Tod Browning's "Freaks" (1939)

45. Are you going to have a good night?
Probabbly not.

46. Do you have strange dreams?
Once in a blue moon.

48. Do you trust all of your friends?
Definitely

49. What are you listening to?
Blake Schwarzenbach's bands

50. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.

53. What did you do today?
This, coffee, cigarette, washed up, watched TV.
Tags:

Dec. 13th, 2007

My new haircut!!!

(I do normally have my head cocked to the side in pictures... not sure why.)








Today's Update

I'm 21 & already my best friends are getting married off. Well, sort of. One is officially engaged (but getting the ring on Christmas) & is hoping for an August/September wedding. I found this all out today. Last time I saw her (on my birthday) she didn't even have a boyfriend. The other is pre-engaged. What I mean by that is, they're planning to get engaged a bit closer to when they finish undergraduate studies & can afford it. Then, they'll be get married once they finish school all together.

It's been 3 years since I got my hair cut. It's just time. I'm sick of longer hair, though it does somewhat cover my David Bowie tattoo when it's needed. I have an appointment in just over an hour. Cutting it similiar to Brody Dalle when she was in the Distillers. (See: pictures below)

Later, I'm going to call the restaurant & see what's the what about the job I interviewed for. Wish me luck & keep fingers crossed.

It's already a crazy, amazing day. I love it.




Dec. 8th, 2007

Meme

1) Some random girl comes up to you and says, "Who the hell are you?" And I say...
"I am Hell" (Rob Zombie song)

2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Cigarette. I know I should quit.

3) What does your last incoming text message say?
Though I'm not supposed to get texts, as they're too expensive right now: "I'm drunk & I know you dont like texting but I'm looking forward to seeing you... & you know, touching you." - Sean

4) The last song you listened to?
"Twenty Flight Rock" by the Stray Cats (from a compilation Sean made me of covers)

5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would it be?
"Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" on repeat? No... I'm not that mean.

6) Where is your best friend right now?
Getting ready to come over here for game night & drinks

7) What did you do yesterday?
Watched the Game Show Network & called possible future employer to see when/if they were going to call about my interview (Wednesday the 12th I'll hear back)

8) Pick a scar on your body. Where'd it come from?
Tattoos are considered scars, so... my tattoo artists

9) What teacher have you hated most and why?
My 5th grade teacher, she was nicknamed the Bitch on Wheels by parents & made a friend of mine cry.

12) What do you really think happened to Steve on Blues Clues?
I heard he went to college... I was a bit too old for that show when it started.

14) Who is your most religious friend?
Most of the people I know are atheists or angnostics. Natalie, I guess, since she's still Lutheran.

15) Who do you trust with your life?
My 2 best friends.

16) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Honestly I don't know. Not sure if I want to change my last name if I get married... lots of paperwork.

17) What would you say if someone told you you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each and every morning?
Laugh & think they were lying.

18) What do you hate about your school?
My school is life & film. I don't go to an actual school.

19) How often do you curse?
When necessary or when to put emphasis on something.

20) Do you trust all of your friends?
To one extent or another.

21) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Why not, I got nothing holding me back.

22) Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
I step out of the bathroom then, I have to have music playing in the shower.

23) Name two things you would not tolerate in a relationship?
Cheating & excessive lying.

24) Which one of your friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
Natalie... she's already a stripper.

25) Are you afraid of falling in love?
I always fall in love too quickly & that's the scary part... to fall in love too soon.

26) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
Yes, 2 people actually. My ex & the guy I'm dating but not yet at the boyfriend/girlfriend status with (both named Sean).

27) Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
Nope, it's happened to me.

29) Fill in the blank. "I love _____ ."
"fishes because they're so delicious. Got Goldfishes." That might show my age.

30) What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Get a job, move into my own place, & what the hell... get a boyfriend/husband. (Whether actual husband or in so deep in a relationship we're like a married couple is up in the air.)

31) If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time, who would you call?
Depends who's visiting me & who hasn't changed their numbers.

32) How many kids do you want to have?
Right now, none. Later, maybe 2-4

33) Would you make a good parent?
I think I'd be a good alternamom. (See book: AlternaDad)

34) Where was your default picture taken?
LJ - It's the cover of a David Bowie CD.

35) What is your middle name?
Marie, like most women.

36) Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
I want to get vinyl records.

37) Do you cry in front of people?
I try not to.

39) What are you wearing right now?
Jeans, tank top, hoodie from my friends old dance competition.

40) Righty or Lefty?
Righty.

41) Can you make a dollar in change right now?
Nope.

43) Favorite jeans?
The ones I wear pretty much every day.

44) Favorite animal?
Sea otter? I don't know.

45) Favorite juice?
I ususally go for the orange.

46) Have you had the chicken pox?
Yes.

47) Have you had a sore throat?
Not in the last few hours.

48) Ever had plastic surgery?
Sugery yes, plastic no.

49) Who knows you the best?
Jessica & Natalie

50) Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
Both. But I get lazy & need to order more contacts so I'm wearing my glasses a lot.

51) Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Landlords don't allow pets.

52) Ever been to Mexico?
No.

53) Did you buy something yesterday?
No.

54) Did you get sick today?
No. Just got over the cold.

55) Did you miss anyone today?
Yeah.

56) Did you get in a fight with someone today?
No.

58) Last person to lay in your bed?
Well me. Other than that, Sean.

59) Last person to see you cry?
I don't know.

60) Do you get your nails done?
I did for prom years ago & my best friends 16th birthday but that's to expensive. I paint my own nails.

62) What are your plans for the weekend?
Game night, wait for Sean to be over his cold so I can find out when I can see him, & maybe sleep.

63) Who do you think will repost this?
I got this from my only actual LJ friend.

64) Are you happy right now?
Content is a good state to be in.

65) Drunk dialer or texter?
Neither

66) Are you hungry?
I should eat so I can drink later.

67) Are you a forgiving person?
To some extent.

68) Would you ever share a girlfriend or boyfriend with your best friend?
No. Causes too much drama & they don't have the same tastes in guys.

69) Have you lost a friend recently?
No.

70) Are you talking to someone while doing this?
No.

72) What are you about to do right now?
Post this, get ready for game night, eat.

Dec. 4th, 2007

Very quick update on life thus far

September I finally started to date again after 25 long months of singledom. For the past 3 months I've been seeing a man named Sean, (coincidentally, the namme of my ex as weell) & we've only been out on 4 dates (though 2 of them were overnighters). Not boyfriend/girlfriend as he lives a hour bus ride & another hour on the El train away on the north side of Chicago. I'm hoping one day that changes though, as I'm already falling for him. (Habit of mine: falling too quickly.) And I already fear loosing him, so I hope he does the knight in shinning armor thing & fight for us because...

In a few months time, the lease on my mom's apartment is up. We can't afford to keep it. I don't have a job currently. I did have an interview on the 27th for a waitress position, and will hear about it end of this week. Even if I do get this job, I'll still have to find my own place. And I'll probably move to a cheap studio in Chicago, which means that I'll only hold the job for a short while. If I don't find my own place by the time the lease is up I'll be on the couch at my mom & her boyfriend's one bedroom apartment they're wantin to get, in Indiana, unil I can. Therefore, more problems getting to work & seeing Sean. I don't have a driver's license. I am looking for jobs in the city already but it'll be even harder to get to the bus/train to the city from Indiana.

Because of such strains, I'll have to put off cosmetology/beauty school even longer.

Yes, fun times indeed. I think that's all of the major importances going on. So, there we are.

All my love.

Jun. 4th, 2007

Fading Like A Photograph Left Too Long On The Dash???

Today I stood in the rain. I stood there, still, for 5 minutes. It was wonderful. As the cold water dripped from my hair down my shirt and I breathed in the mixture of fresh clean air & my hair product, my mind became devoid of all thought. But clarity such as this is ever so fleeting. The moment I stepped inside, it wasn't the water I was drenched in, it was my thoughts. The second my foot touched the flooring of my home, my mind was gasping for something to hold on to. Whether it was a book, one the many films in my collection, the coffee pot brewing, this screen even. Something had to take the place of even just a few of my thoughts. But all of those things I've done & seen ad nauseam. They don't do for me what they once did. I can't just sit here, looking at those things over & over again, at least not through the same eyes, and only these eyes. A friend, a new found love, what have you... I want to see these things among others through their eyes as well. But, that will not be. Over the past few years I have come to realize that. Some things just aren't meant to be. A sentiment often said when a loss occurs in some form or another. This is my loss, a far greater one than the loss of a lover. My loss is that of the people. All the people that have once entered my life are that of the past. There are people I once knew, that once knew me. Those are the people that have been long since removed, yet not totally forgotten. Everyone that I have ever met, I would have to meet them for the first time again. For now, I do not know but one soul, my own. Even that is barely a whisper in the wind. Time is never wasted, and one can not catch up on things they planned to do but never did. That time is gone. One can only do what they do, when they do it, and with whom. Whatever you do for whatever reason with the time left in you life allotted to me will not be of sufficient matter to anyone but you and the people you shared it with. Once I cease to be of the living, not a thing will truly matter as there will be no one to recount these days. Only that of yesteryear, and that my friends will be cause for little concern. What's done is done and that is that. The friends of former have gone on with their lives and will continue to do so. Perhaps my life grew to a standstill. Perhaps my life is in gridlock. There is no way of turning back, moving forward is an impossible and impassable. However phrased, it all means the same thing. I will never hear a newborn's cry, a lover's whisper in my ear, a friend's laughter. For the rest of my days, I will walk the Earth with only the thoughts racing in my mind. The only voice I will hear is that of which I speak, the only reflection I will see is that of my own, through mine eyes. I will know of the existence of other but that won't be of matter, not to me. As will my existence to another. It will not be cared for, nor acknowledged. It will not be worth a damn, the words I speak, the letters I write, the steps I take, the breaths I breathe. But for those few moments, none of that was true. For that time, what was true was that I was the world. Maybe just in my own world, but nonetheless, my body was that that existed in it. My story may never be told, my story may never want to be heard nor even shared. As the rain graced my skin, there was no story to be told and no need for it to be. As I sit here now, it is as though I am Alice just as she has moved over the last square on the chess board, the White Knight has long since retreated and left her alone to be a woman on her own. There is nowhere in my foreseeable future a warm gesture, a kind word, the touch of another’s skin. While this was not the plan, it is what it is… my life. There is no going back. While there is hope for tomorrow, yesteryear and all that went with it, the time, the people, all that was said and done, left unsaid and left undone, they are all gone. It may not rain again, but there is promise. The pictures fade, the stories forgotten, but the world keeps spinning at break-neck speed. I will still see sunrise to indigo through my eyes. Doubting that ever will I see through another’s, but never wanting to give up the hope that one day it will all change, even for just a breath of a lifetime.

Dec. 31st, 2006

Kids today don't know what punk is

I've been up for a few days now, sort of (only a power nap here & there). While up, I have been listening to punk (Ramones, Descendents, X-Ray Spex, Sex Pistols, Discount, Epoxies, Dead Milkmen… etc). One can only listen to the Sex Pistols so many times before asking yourself out loud to no one:

"Why do kids today think Sid Vicious is so awesome? Is it his lack of talent as a musician? Because certainly he didn't do shit during the Pistols. (Matlock was on their ONE studio album – “Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols”); Sid couldn't play guitar...Even Johnny Rotten said so, going as far as saying Sid just had the right look.) Maybe it was his 'cool' heroin addiction & the fact he killed Nancy, got arrested for it, and then overdosed a few short days later? Would these idiots still worship him if he were still alive? I don't think so. Next thing these kids are going to say is that the Sex Pistols aren't punk, Green Day is - at least that what the lead singer of Green Day said, whatever his name is. Were the Sex Pistols looking to be punk when they started? No. Punk wasn't around in the UK until bands like them & the Damned & so forth. But, my dear friends, they are forerunners. Now, I'm not saying anything bad about the fat little rich kids in punk gear, but they haven't earned the wings to truly be punk. They physically do not have the scars to be so. People have been continuously volatility attacked for the things they believe in. They haven’t faced long term jail sentences & have gotten assaulted for what they believe in. Now, not all punks have, but does Green Day even say something? Going onto the Grammy’s promoting the same American Idiot album for 3 years in a row & are pompous about bands like the Sex Pistols… It is just...plonk, not punk. Then I read this press blurb about the lead of Green Day praising the Pistols, but it was just an amalgamation of their reviews over the years. Now I respect them as human being but goodness, if you are going to categorize music you got to get it right. They come along and they think they can con it all up right, and a record company behind it with very expensive videos behind them, very expensive productions and have the nerve to call themselves punk? No. I don’t think so.”

Now this is just me. My ranting & opinions. You don’t have to agree with it. I frankly don’t expect anyone too. I just ask that my voice is respected, as you would want me to listen to yours, respect it, & not judge…which I would without question. With that noted, I’m still feeling in a rant kind of mood…

“G.G. Allin is not punk. He was a circus freak with a microphone that helped turn Jerry Springer into what it is. Cutting yourself, raping women & girls, threatening on stage suicide every show (before OD’ing just after a concert) & throwing feces at the audience is not how you front a band. And it certainly isn’t punk. I would never go to show where I might be defecated on. And if anyone says that I’m a ‘poser’ for that, especially some little 13 year old who wasn’t around to see the garbage that G.G. was peddling, well then wait for me & I’ll one random day throw feces at you & see how you respond. Seriously, his claim to fame was:

A) Being a drug addict.
B) Being a sex offender
C) Playing the worst “music” ever recorded (well, until Bowling For Soup became a band)
D) Cutting himself on stage, beating up his audience, throwing his own feces at audience members, spitting/vomiting on his audience, et cetera.

Now, if you see this as cool, then you’re just stupid & you need to grow up. G.G. Allin was a disturbed junkie who belonged in a mental rehabilitation ward, not some sort of alt-prophet.”

Oh fuck just one more won’t kill anyone, I don’t think…

“A few weeks ago, on National Buy Nothing Day, I was out & watching this silly little kids buying silly little Christmas gifts (I scoff as I’m an agnostic/nontheist, so just let that go alright). I saw some girl of maybe 15 or 16 wearing a Ramones tee. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the Ramones. But, this girl was walking around with her ‘jock’ of a boyfriend & her designer handbag…what one would call a ‘prep’. It took all my energy not to punch her out & rip that shirt right off of her. I don’t think that Joey would have stood for that, I wouldn’t doubt he’s rolling in his grave. That’s not what the Ramones were about – fashion & all – no way on Earth. If you ask me, you best be able to name all 5 Ramones (at least the original 4) without looking at the presidential seal OR be able to name 3 of their songs, & not just the well-known ones, before buying band merchandise, especially the T-shirts. This goes for any band, not just the Ramones. Again with the Sex Pistols (yes I am a huge fan, so? That just furthers my convictions), I’ve seen their tees worn to be fashionable. That is not right, at least to me. I seriously, SERIOUSLY doubt that those people can name even 2 songs by the Sex Pistols. And I KNOW they don't know any other of the band members, other than Johnny & Sid. If you’re not a fan of the band…don’t wear the shirt. And please don’t be that guy…There’s only one thing worse than being the guy who wears the tee of the band whose show they are attending. That would be the guy who bought said shirt at said show.”

Okay done with my ranting…for now. Sorry if I bored or pissed off anyone but I needed to get that off my chest.

I'd Do Anything For Love

Bruce Springsteen was trying to be deep when he wrote the lyrics "Just wrap your legs around these velvet rims / And strap your hands across my engines" in his song "Born To Run." What I don't get is why that is considered a higher poetic achievement than Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light". "Paradise" came out around the same time, it was about the same subject matter, and was just as popular but it didn't get the same credibility. It may be because Springsteen is supposedly the All-American blue collar 'hero,' and Meat Loaf is a big goofball who's cool in spite of himself. (Which may be why I don’t like Bruce but love Meat Loaf, but I digress…) Had Bruce wrote "Paradise by the Dashboard Light," people would be playing it at weddings. This bothers me, as I love Meat Loaf's music & most of his acting gigs.

This brings me to my point. Everybody knows Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)," but they don't know what he won't do. (And no, it’s not give her his Dr. Pepper… I saw that commercial too.) Well, Jim Steinman wrote the song. As he did with most of Meat Loaf’s songs, as well as Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. But I digress… Do these people not listen to or read lyrics? It clearly states a number of things that he wouldn't do. Mostly it’s that he wouldn't leave her.

We all know how both these people feel. We’ve heard of, or have been in situations similar to, or exactly like this. His girl does love him but she feels that it’s too good to be true. That he will get tired of her & move on. He is trying to tell her that, that could never happen because he loves her so much that he’s do anything for her. He’d do anything for her because he adores her so much and sometimes his love for her drives him a little crazy. She just chalked it up to a summer’s romance but he’s trying to assure her that that’s just not the case. He would do anything but cheat & leave.

I leave you with the lyrics for you come to your own conclusion.

And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'd never lie to you and that's a fact
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Some days it don't come easy
Some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're breathing fire
Some nights you're carved in ice
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know you can save me, no one else can save me now but you

As long as the planets are turning
As long as the stars are burning
As long dreams are coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do

Anything for love
And I’ll be there until the final act
I would do anything for love, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact
But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way, tonight
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that

Some days I pray for silence
Some days I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll
Some nights I lose the feeling
Some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls

Maybe I'm lonely, that's all I'm qualified to be
That's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep

As long as the wheels are turning
As long as the fires are burning
As long as your prayers are coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do

Anything for love
And you know it's true and that's a fact
I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back
But I'll never do it better than I do it with you. So long, so long
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
No, no, no, I won't do...

I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that
I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do...

But I'll never stop dreaming of you ev'ry night of my life, no way
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

[Girl:]
Will you raise me up? Will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

[Boy:]
I can do that
I can do that

[Girl:]
Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?

[Boy:]
I can do that
Oh no, I can do that

[Girl:]
Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Will you build and emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?

[Boy:]
I can do that
I can do that

[Girl:]
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?

[Boy:]
I can do that
Oh no, I can do that

[Girl:]
After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on

[Boy:]
I won't do that
I won't do that

[Girl:]
I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be screwing around

[Boy:]
I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Dec. 27th, 2006

Let's be honest...

Let's be honest...


... if you're taking money out of a cash machine at four in the morning, it isn't for anything good.

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